Companionship Not Love
by Purple Lex
Summary: Emily ate dinner with him, talked with him, whispered her love to him, and slept with him. Amanda was the one that knew her heart was still untouched.  Short blurb inside Emily's head on her feelings and why they are what they are.


**A/N:** This was written a little while ago so I figured I would post it. I haven't seen this week's (well, last week's) episode, by the way, so there are some things that aren't completely compatible, I'm sure.

It's just a short blurb I thought up when Nolan was accusing Emily/Amanda of getting too close to Daniel. I have fun getting into Emily/Amanda's head, even though I haven't posted anything (until now). Please tell me how it turned out from your perspective, if you don't mind. Many thanks for taking the time to read it :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own or have any affiliation with ABC's TV Show Revenge, it's production, characters, and et cetera. I am simply a fan enjoying the storyline and interpreting the characters in my own way.**

**XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX**

Emily Thorn - experienced socialite, fiance of the Hampton's most prominent family's son, holder of false identity, daughter of wrongly-convicted David Clarke - knew she wasn't in love.

Emily found it funny how she spent so much time, money, and planning to become Emily Thorn and, yet, in these lonely hours, she still thought of herself as little Amanda Clarke. She chopped the celery and added it into the pan to sautee with butter. She's making dinner tonight. It is to surprise Daniel; remind him why_ he _loves_ her _so much. Perfect, ignorant bliss.

Although, she couldn't blame him. It was all a carefully constructed mask she gave him. In truth, Daniel didn't know much about her true self at all. Emily actually wondered how much of the true Amanda was left inside of her, influencing her, whispering in her ear.

Nolan had taken her by surprise when he accused her of falling for Daniel, thus setting up her plans to fail - but she didn't show it on her face. No, instead she narrowed her eyes and hissed out at him. It was becoming habit. The talent wasn't something she learned in her childhood - rather, it was something she molded herself to become to fit in.

The rich were all snakes, biting at each other until the poison finally seeped in to the other and they came out victorious, their scales as sparkling as ever. Or, until they died and had to run away in shame. Emily found it dispicable. But, so was the game. And she had already gone full in to win.

It was the companionship she craved, not the love. It was the company that she loved. That didn't necessarily reflect back on the identity of the company, however. No, rather, it was just the fact that it was _someone_. Simply put, Emily liked a house full. No more than four, no less than two. It was how she grew up - a part of Amanda's personality that would always be her own, no matter what her name happened to be in the morning.

Emily liked to come home and have the lights already on, the warmth already flowing, the wine already uncorked. She liked to immediately have someone to talk to - even if she had to screen her words first. She liked it when someone walked in the door and hugged her, kissed her, smiled at her. She liked going on her morning swim and walking back in to a shower already dialed to hot, a bathroom already steamed and welcoming.

It was selfish, she knew. But what was one more thing? Her whole existance was selfish now. Emily had a right to it, she felt.

At the end of the day, even as she said those three little words, the Amanda inside of her knew she wasn't in love. Emily was just a face, a personality, a list of accomplishments that opened the door to the Hamptons, all the while Amanda's heart beat inside. Amanda could never see herself handing her heart over to Daniel. He didn't know_ her, _he didn't see _her_, he didn't love _her_.

Amanda looked up as the door banged shut. Daniel walked over and kissed her neck before making his way to the stove. "That smells amazing. What are you making?"

"Be careful, the steam is hot." As if on cue, he dropped the metal lid back on the pan. "Here." Emily turned on the faucet; it was already set to cold.

"Thanks." He smiled that boyish grin over at her and she smiled back.

Emily ate dinner with him, talked with him, whispered her love to him, and slept with him. Amanda was the one that knew her heart was still untouched.

**XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX**


End file.
